I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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