y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
