Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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