I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
