Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
