idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just found puke in my bra..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
