i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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