Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I see more hoeing in ur future
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
