is your mom at the bar?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He passed out mid-signature
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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