Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
