The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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