did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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