My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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