I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
