just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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