My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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