Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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