Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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