jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
