Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
