I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
