she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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