I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
