Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
