Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
