Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
