I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
