You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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