i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
