Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
