I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
