Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I forget how to act sober
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