Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She said her name was "party"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
