Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
