your thong is hanging out like whoa
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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