Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
