do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
