see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
