A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
