btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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