I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
