erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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