Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My dick has a subreddit
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
