brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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