either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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