The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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