I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
