Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
