I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
