I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
