I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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