we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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